Anyone who has been there knows how frustrating the end of pregnancy can be. Well, I am there--like times 10! Yesterday we spent 5 hours in the hospital being "monitored", just to be sent home, still without any clue of what the plan is. I know, some women go through pregnancy never knowing, and it just "happens" at the end, but for me that is not how it works.
From about 28 weeks on, we have "plan". An end goal, a finish line, a date to wrap your brain around. Its the only way to sanity. With Aynsli it all went to pot, with Emalie, it worked better than expected.
I went on bedrest with Aynsli at 23 weeks, and was told, almost weekly, "we won't let you go a day over 37 weeks." That was still 14 freaking weeks, but it was an end goal. I had a calendar that I put a sticker on every day to mark off the days. And then, 37 weeks rolled around, and I was told- You are doing so well, lets keep going! What the HE--! You don't do that to a pregnant woman who hasn't been out of the house except to the hospital, in over 3 months! Those last 12 days were torture! The feelings and emotions were an incredible rollercoaster--and the frustration, anger, blame that HAD to be placed somewhere-were all very real. Stupid doctor anyway. (Didn't say it, but sure felt it) Does it matter now? Not one iota, but then it was what I lived, breathed, slept, and was all consumed with. So at nearly 39 weeks she is born, only to spend 25 days in NICU.
Fast forward to Emalie...no bedrest, similar blood pressure problems, planning on 38 weeks being the end. Get to 37, BP is high, baby is getting uncooperative, doc says--any reason not to have this baby? I certainly can't think of one. Born at 37 on the nose, comes home with mom on day two.
Today---or yesterday actually--36 weeks 5 days. Going in for NST, see doc, possible plan for induction, but at least plan made. NOT. Baby was not cooperative--just quiet--which I have told them all along--but they didn't like it. So after 1 1/2 hours monitoring, they think that I need to be admitted for further monitoring. 3 hours more monitoring--finally see doctor's face--and get nurse's spiel about how its important to keep baby in as long as possible--know you're done, but would hate to have baby and have to go to ICU...blah blah blah. I kindly kept my mouth shut, but really felt like saying--SHUT UP!! Don't give me the blah blah blah. You know nothing about me, or my situation, except what is going on right now. You have no idea that my 39 weeker ended up in NICU, and my 37 weeker did just fine. In reality, you have no idea what is going to happen, so don't try and tell me what is best. The outcome--go in again on Thursday for more monitoring--still no plan. Still no, we'll decide then, or whatever. All of those feelings and emotions from 16 weeks of bedrest came rushing back, and someone needs to pay. Somebody has to be at fault. Don't just string me along. Give me an end game, and if it happens earlier, great, but if not, then at least I am not yelling, screaming, ornery, depressed, frustrated, whatever, because you changed your mind midway through the plan. YOU JUST DON'T DO THAT TO A PREGNANT WOMAN!!!!!
Now I know, that in a month from now, none of this will matter--it will all be water under the bridge. But for this moment, it is everything!!! I can't sleep, I can't walk, I can't chase or catch my 16 month old, I can't do much of anything. But wait, and wonder when this journey will come to an end, and the next one will begin. Hopefully it will be soon.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
35 days and counting...officially
We are getting there. Officially we have 35 days left. Most likely we have 21, if I have my way, it will be closer to 14. We'll see what happens. Baby is doing well, although she has been rather uncooperative. I've had NSTs (non-stress tests) for 2 weeks now; and will continue to have them until the end. I went Monday, and we thought all was well, but as soon as we got home, there was a message from the nurse saying that the perinatologist was not happy with the results, and wanted me to come back in and re-test. No one wants to hear that. This pregnancy has been fraught with worry and nerve-wracking from the beginning. (Granted, most of it self-imposed and without basis--but nonetheless, for me it has been worrisome.) She has been breech for nearly 7 weeks, and that has brought on all kinds of unknown for me. Will she turn? Why hasn't she? What if she doesn't? Is there a problem? What is going to happen? So now what. The doc wasn't happy with her baseline heart rate, and felt we needed to test again. So I went in yesterday to retest. Thankfully, she did much better, and at least for the moment, has chosen to be mostly head down. That is a relief, but now I worry that she won't stay that way. We've still got a few days until it becomes a real issue; but I just want her to be head down and stay that way. Is that so much to ask? We will have NST and ultrasound on Monday. What happens there will help form what the plan is from here on out. Hopefully, she'll be head down, and things will be on schedule for delivery. Keep your fingers crossed.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Life goes on...drip by drip
I have been needing to post for awhile, but feel like I have nothing interesting to write about. The days keep passing, and we keep marching on.
Last Thursday I was laying on my bed, and I heard this weird noise. I thought maybe it was one of the kids playing on the floor or something. I got up to look, and found that it was water dripping onto a piece of paper they had left on the floor. It was dripping pretty consistently, and you could already see multiple soft spots in the ceiling. What in the world?
So we called the home builders, and the construction manager came over and took a look. In these homes, the furnace is up in the attic--because 99% of them don't have basements--and the furnace blows the air when the air conditioner is on. There is a drip pan under the furnace where the water goes, and it has 2 pipes. One goes to the normal drain, the other to the pan, which is supposed to hit a switch, and turn off the furnace, which will turn off the AC if it gets too full. Well, apparently that didn't happen. Because it was never hooked up correctly when we moved in. So not only was the pan full, it had overflowed onto the plywood, through the insulation, and into the drywall, which was now soaking through the ceiling. Lovely!
The disaster cleanup people were called, and they came over. By the time they left, we had a 2 x 2 hole in the ceiling, with more to be removed once it dried; 5 bags of insulation and other debris had been removed, and a dehumidifier machine and carpet dryer machine hooked up and blowing. AC had to be off until they could fix it, windows, doors, and vents all had to be shut in the bedroom, and 3 layers of garbage bags had been stapled over the hole, but it was still dripping. And they weren't going to come back until Monday, to see if it was all dried up. That was 4 nights away!! With the machines, it got up to over 90 degrees in there, and they were loud. So there is no way that we could sleep in our room.
In my opinion this would be inconvenient under the most ideal circumstances, but for me it was just misery. 34 weeks pregnant, in the heat of July, with no AC, and without my own bed. We attempted to re-arrange the kids so we could all sleep somewhere, but it just got to be too hot and miserable. So at 10pm we packed up and went to the nearest motel for the night. That too, was not exactly restful, but at least it was cool.
We were awakened early the next morning by our neighbor calling to tell us that the air conditioner guys were there to fix it. They had told us that it would be 10am before they showed up, but here it was, barely 8 am, and we were still trying to get our act together. Our neighbor let them in, and we got home as soon as possible. They looked at the AC, fixed the problem, and turned it on and said we needed to let it run and run and run, and so they set it for 65 degrees. I was in heaven. Cool!
So at least now the air was on and we were home. Still couldn't sleep in our bed, as it was an oven in our room, but we survived. Monday rolled around and we had several people here. The home builder guy was here to check on things, the AC guys came back, and guess what? It was still leaking. So they glued the part and came back later--still leaking...so they just replaced the whole pipe. The drywall guy came and ripped out a 4 x 8 section of ceiling, and then replaced it and plastered it. That had to dry for at least 24 hours. So today the dry wall guy is back, he will be sanding and texturing it. The insulation guys are coming this afternoon to replace the insulation, and we still have to have the painters and cleaners come.
A week has passed already, and we still aren't done. Hopefully only a couple more days and we will have a partially new ceiling, and cleaned carpets.
And all this because some contractor didn't put a 50 cent bolt on the end of a pipe when they installed the airconditioner 10 months ago. Thank goodness for home warranty!!!
Last Thursday I was laying on my bed, and I heard this weird noise. I thought maybe it was one of the kids playing on the floor or something. I got up to look, and found that it was water dripping onto a piece of paper they had left on the floor. It was dripping pretty consistently, and you could already see multiple soft spots in the ceiling. What in the world?
So we called the home builders, and the construction manager came over and took a look. In these homes, the furnace is up in the attic--because 99% of them don't have basements--and the furnace blows the air when the air conditioner is on. There is a drip pan under the furnace where the water goes, and it has 2 pipes. One goes to the normal drain, the other to the pan, which is supposed to hit a switch, and turn off the furnace, which will turn off the AC if it gets too full. Well, apparently that didn't happen. Because it was never hooked up correctly when we moved in. So not only was the pan full, it had overflowed onto the plywood, through the insulation, and into the drywall, which was now soaking through the ceiling. Lovely!
The disaster cleanup people were called, and they came over. By the time they left, we had a 2 x 2 hole in the ceiling, with more to be removed once it dried; 5 bags of insulation and other debris had been removed, and a dehumidifier machine and carpet dryer machine hooked up and blowing. AC had to be off until they could fix it, windows, doors, and vents all had to be shut in the bedroom, and 3 layers of garbage bags had been stapled over the hole, but it was still dripping. And they weren't going to come back until Monday, to see if it was all dried up. That was 4 nights away!! With the machines, it got up to over 90 degrees in there, and they were loud. So there is no way that we could sleep in our room.
In my opinion this would be inconvenient under the most ideal circumstances, but for me it was just misery. 34 weeks pregnant, in the heat of July, with no AC, and without my own bed. We attempted to re-arrange the kids so we could all sleep somewhere, but it just got to be too hot and miserable. So at 10pm we packed up and went to the nearest motel for the night. That too, was not exactly restful, but at least it was cool.
We were awakened early the next morning by our neighbor calling to tell us that the air conditioner guys were there to fix it. They had told us that it would be 10am before they showed up, but here it was, barely 8 am, and we were still trying to get our act together. Our neighbor let them in, and we got home as soon as possible. They looked at the AC, fixed the problem, and turned it on and said we needed to let it run and run and run, and so they set it for 65 degrees. I was in heaven. Cool!
So at least now the air was on and we were home. Still couldn't sleep in our bed, as it was an oven in our room, but we survived. Monday rolled around and we had several people here. The home builder guy was here to check on things, the AC guys came back, and guess what? It was still leaking. So they glued the part and came back later--still leaking...so they just replaced the whole pipe. The drywall guy came and ripped out a 4 x 8 section of ceiling, and then replaced it and plastered it. That had to dry for at least 24 hours. So today the dry wall guy is back, he will be sanding and texturing it. The insulation guys are coming this afternoon to replace the insulation, and we still have to have the painters and cleaners come.
A week has passed already, and we still aren't done. Hopefully only a couple more days and we will have a partially new ceiling, and cleaned carpets.
And all this because some contractor didn't put a 50 cent bolt on the end of a pipe when they installed the airconditioner 10 months ago. Thank goodness for home warranty!!!
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