All of you that have children know that they come packaged with their very own set of habits, personality, likes and dislikes, and individuality. For as similar as they can be, it is amazing how different they can be too.
Lets take for example, my two children. My oldest came to us after much trial and tribulation. Her entry into the world wasn't bad, but the first 25 days afterwards were tough. She spent those days in the NICU, trying to learn how to eat with a hole in her palate. As such, she had a feeding tube, and a VERY regular schedule. She slept through all kinds of bells and whistles, and though her mama spent most every waking moment there with her, she was alone at night. (That's a story for another post.) As hard as it was for me, it helped her in several ways. She learned to sleep through much noise, and as she didn't have to wake up in the night to eat, she learned very early to sleep through the night. Even once we brought her home, and pulled her feeding tube, she rarely woke in the night to eat, and slept regularly through the night from about 3 months old. I now consider that my blessing for all that we went through in those early days.
Ok, now enter child number 2. Things were different from the very beginning. First, she came home with us on day number 2. There were no solid nights sleep for me before getting up with baby. But still, by about 3-4 months, she was sleeping through the night. It was heaven, I was so blessed to have 2 good sleeping babies!!! And believe me, I now appreciate every one of those nights she slept. Lets fast forward to last December--baby 2 is now 9 months old. She is just getting her first teeth, she's starting to drink regular milk, and she's turning into a rebel, a malcontent, a radical, when it comes to sleeping. She quit taking naps, and won't sleep through the night.
I am having fits. We just found out at this point that baby 3 is on the way, and already I am having nightmares of dealing with 2 crying children in the middle of the night. I need my sleep. I am not nice if I don't get it. Dad is not much help in the middle of the night. We fall into this bad habit. Baby wakes at 1, 2, 3, or 4 in the morning. Mom makes a feeble attempt to rock baby to sleep and put her back into her bed. This fails MISERABLY! So mom takes baby and throws her in our bed. Baby sleeps, and mom sleeps--with either head or feet in her back.
Fast forward to this month. This has been going on for nearly 6 months now!! I could count on 2 hands the number of nights she has slept through the night. (And she doesn't take naps either) Baby 3 will be here soon, and I cannot deal with 2 crying children in the middle of the night. We have got to figure something out. I can let her scream for awhile, Dad won't-he wants to get her a bottle (she hasn't had one at night for even longer than she hasn't been sleeping through it), or just go get her. How will she learn?
Last week, I gave in. I have thought about it, seriously considered it, heard of other mothers who do it, but didn't know if could really do it. It started out innocently enough...we'd spent days playing outside, and she was sneezing and having red, watery eyes. Let's just give her a little Benadryl to help her eyes. And guess what? She slept until 5:30am!! Wow! This stuff is amazing...we'd better try it again, just to make sure that it wasn't just a fluke. Night 2, she sleeps until 6:30 am! Amazing! Night 3, I wake up at 8:30 am-its Sunday morning, and its just me and my hubby in the bed!!! Miracle!! I can't remember the last time it was just the 2 of us in bed! : ) Now we couldn't stop...sleeping through the night, mom and dad have their own bed...I don't want it to end. We've struck gold! Liquid gold--in the form of Benadryl! So on it goes. For 8 nights--benadryl before bed, sleeping all night, up at 6:30, but thats ok. Mom is sleeping. Well, last night I started to feel a little guilty. I don't want to be mom who HAS to drug her kids to get them, and her, to sleep. So we went without it. And all HE-- broke loose! She woke up at 2 am, and not only did she wake up, she refused to go back to sleep, even in my bed, until nearly 4am.
So here I sit, faced with a dilemma...Baby 3 will be here in 8 weeks or less. Something's gotta give! So do I go with the gold and enjoy it while it works, or give in to my conscience, and tough it out, come what may?
4 comments:
That IS a serious dilemma! I don't know what I would do. I think that letting her cry it out would be more effective in the long run, but I know that I am guilty of a little drugging here and there. That's a tough one!! You better let us know what you decide and how it works out.
i let kaleb cry it out it was not fun but it worked. Not saying it will work for you but you can try and you Husband needs to be supportive of it too. I also read a book called sleep sense.
We did the scream-it-out thing, too. My son was "cured" in two days, after about 45 combined minutes of crying.
My daughter, though, screamed for 90 minutes the first night, 60 the second, 45 the third, 30 the fourth, and 20 for the fifth, sixth and seventh. I thought I'd lose my mind, but even she caved after a week, and after that week, she rarely cried during the night unless she was sick.
They are 10 and 9 now, and they still love me. :)
The crying is so hard, but you get through it. Introducing a bottle at this stage means weaning from it later, not to mention bottle rot (teeth) and someone having to get up to make it.
Good luck! Be strong! :)
I don't know what to say, other than good luck! I think you definitely need to try to teach her to cry it out and sleep. The medicine thing probably shouldn't be long term. Not that it's easy to get them to sleep, though!
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