In case you were wondering...

I don't know if any of you have been wondering, but we are allowed to have visitors in the NICU.  You have to be healthy, at least 14 years old, and can only come when either Chris or I are there.  Only 2 people are allowed at the bedside at a time but that is ok.   If you would like to come visit, just let us know and we would be more than happy to work it out. 

Counting

21--number of days our sweet boy has been in the NICU
7--the number of teeth Aynsli had pulled on Tuesday
4--number of sick children/adults in our house right now
80--number of miles travelled daily to the hospital and back
597--the number of times it seems we've heard "I don't know" this week
3--number of times Zachariah has been intubated and extubated
8900--number of dollars to Life Flight Zachariah to Primary Childrens
19--number of desat episodes in one given 12 hour shift
97000--number of dollars submitted to insurance for care thus far

Here are a few more....

--sometimes it feels like you didn't even have a baby.  You aren't doing the any of the "new baby" things, and it often doesn't seem real.  Is he really mine?

--just because your world has flipped, is all out of whack, forever changed, the world doesn't stop.  Life goes on...other people do normal things...even if you feel like you never will.

--some days are just awful.  It feels like the world is against you and nobody cares.  Hopefully those days are few in number.

--the realization that life as you knew it may never be the same is hard.

--there  may or may not be denial, there is most certainly periods of anger, bargaining, depression, and I am sure there will be acceptance one day.  And round and round it goes.

--It may not be the best to blog when you are having a bad day, but it might be necessary.  All of the feelings and emotions are real, regardless of how happy/unhappy, intense and frustrating they may be.

Random musings about the NICU experience...

Just a few thoughts that have been running through my head for the last 16 days.  Things you want to talk about sometimes, but don't necessarily get the chance to.

--I feel so dumb for not considering the fact that this could happen again.  Not that knowing about it ahead of time would have changed much; just worried more.  Still feel dumb.

--It doesn't matter if you have been here before, it is still hard!!!

--The only constancy about the NICU is that things always change.

--You think you will get into a routine, but it never happens.  Day by day is all you can do.  Some times hour by hour or minute by minute.

--Every nurse has their own style.  All the change can be hard.

--Time never passes faster than when you are sitting and holding your baby.

--Time never passes slower than when you have to leave and are away from your baby.

--Days when there is "nothing going on" are good, because you aren't moving backwards, but they are hard because you can't "hurry up and get to the next step either"

--You never think about someone telling you IF you can hold your baby or not, or having to help you do it, until you've had a NICU baby.

--NICU babies have to meet all kinds of parameters before they can go home--pass a car seat test, be eating so much on a regular schedule, be consistently gaining weight--things you would never consider if you haven't been there.

--NICU parents have to do things too---take a "course" in infant CPR, watch the Purple Crying video, watch the Car Seat Safety video,  and pass off all those things with a nurse

--parents who have NICU babies are 1% of the population.  I don't even know what those of us who have had 2 NICU babies would be--pretty special I guess.

--There are way too many cords and wires in the NICU--holding your baby can be tricky when you are trying to navigate the cords.

--You could sit there all day and stare at the monitors as alarms go off--making sure 02 levels are good, respirations are normal, and heart rate is good.  All things you would never consider without the NICU "experience".

--when you are the one that can calm your baby down, and he fusses a lot when you aren't there, it is time for him to come home!  Nurses can't take the time that mom can to make them comfortable, and when you can't be there, and know they are medicating him to make him comfortable, it is among the worst of feelings in the world.

--tears are always right at the surface, ready to be expressed. ALWAYS.

--even the normal things aren't normal.  Walking past the baby section in the store can make you cry.

--you have crazy thoughts, which brings tears.  Why are you unloading the dishwasher when you have a little one in the NICU?  How can you be doing this when you should be with him.   How can you be with him when you should be with your 3 girls.  There is no good place, because your family is not together, and you feel guilty wherever you are.

--how can we ever adequately express the gratitude and thanks for all those who have helped us?  You can't.  You could never do this alone, and you can never really tell those who have helped just how much you love them, and are so grateful and appreciative for their concern and help.  THANK YOU.

--Prayers are a blessing.  Prayers work.  Prayers are answered.  Thank you for your prayers!

--Even on your worst of days, someone else has it worse.  You have to be grateful for your experience.  We could live out of state, we could be able to NOT hold our baby.  We could be doing this for MONTHS.  We could NOT have family around to help.  But we don't. We live close, we get to hold our baby, we know that it won't be "too" much longer, and we have amazing family and friends around to help.  How grateful we are for all of those things!

--No matter how tired, exhausting, draining and frustrating this all is, both physically and emotionally, we know that it won't really be that long before we look back on these weeks, and they are a distant memory, and we have a happy healthy little boy at home with us.  Right now it seems like forever before that will happen, but we gladly look forward to the day when it does.

I am sure there are several more dozen things I could add, but they come in the moment, not necessarily when you are trying to document them.  So know that we are hanging in there, and slowly making progress.

I will continue to update as I can.

Days 2-10

His first NICU bed slot. Bed #23

Truly the days have all kind of passed in a blur.  So much has happened, it is hard to keep it straight, even hours at a time.  Grandma Weaver and Grandpa Condie were both able to come up and visit Zachariah on day 3.  How grateful we are for their love and support.  And we make sure to take pictures too.  ; )

Grandma holding Zachariah

Grandpa holding Zachariah

 

Peeking at Dad with one eye open

Zachariah was scheduled to be extubated and have a bronchial scope done on Monday.  We were told he was on first at 7am, so to be there by 6:30am.  So we were up and there early Monday morning, only to be told that there was some kind of mess up, and he wasn't going in until around 4pm.  Needless to say, that didn't sit well with an emotionally and physically exhausted mama.  Thankfully the nurses and staff were very kind, and got us a room where we could go and rest and relax while we waited the day away.  Finally, about 4pm, we headed down to the OR floor.  We met with the doctor, the anesthesiologist, and they wheeled my sweet boy away.  I am sure that is a feeling I will NEVER get used to.  We went back up to our room to wait.  It was about 90 minutes later when the doctor came up to talk to us.  He said everything went well, they were able to take the tube out, the scope looked good, and now he had a nasal trumpet in, and seemed to be doing well with that.  Such a relief.  Now we give it a day or two to adjust, and see how he does without the nasal trumpet.

On the giraffe lights for his bilirubin

Hanging out under the lights for a couple days

After a few days under the lights, he was able to come off them.  He also was through with TPN and lipids and was able to have his IV pulled.  He was doing well with his O2 levels with the trumpet in as well.  So we were making all kinds of little forward progress steps.  They pulled the nasal trumpet for the first time on Wednesday, and he did well for a few hours, before they had to put it back in.  They tried again on Friday, and he did well for about 20 hours, but then had kind of a scary desat episode.  He would desat a little with moving around and position changes, but always recover on his own.  But Saturday morning had a couple big desats down into the 20s and his color wasn't good.  They finally got the nasal trumpet back in, and he did better then.  We knew that he probably wouldn't be able to do it on his own, but it is always scary when your baby isn't breathing well.

Just hanging out.  He is such a sweet boy!

With his nasal trumpet and a little high flow 02.

Cute little feet--soon to be casted.

Probably the best view to see how his chin and jaw are more recessed

 We met with the doctor both Friday night and Monday afternoon, and made the decision to do surgery on Tuesday.  We gave it a go with the nasal trumpet, and don't want him home in an unsafe manner where he is still having desat issues, so something more is what needs to be done.  So Tuesday is the first surgery day.  He will have a tongue lip adhesion, which we pray will be successful, and solve his airway issues, and allow him to be that much closer to coming home.

Welcome Zachariah Blue Condie

Zachariah's first picture

Our Sweet Zachariah Blue Condie was born on Friday January 13, 2012.  After a rather eventful labor, he came into the world  quickly.  We had gone in to the hospital at 6am that morning, and after 3 hours of not being able to keep him on the monitor because he was moving so much, they finally did an ultrasound.  And of course, our little mover and shaker was lying sideways.  This had been a huge fear of mine, because for the previous 3 weeks he had been head up and sideways on multiple occasions.  So, when the day before we made the decision to induce, part of it was because he was head down.  Obviously that didn't last.  So for an hour they monitored him, and then my doctor came in and between him and 2 nurses, they were able to turn him into a mostly head down position.  For an hour I stayed scrunched up on my side to keep him from moving.  At 11am the doctor came back and tried to place the fetal head monitor, but in the process broke my water.  So we were committed, come what may.  From there labor progressed fairly normally and steadily, and our sweet boy stayed where he should.  When he was born, my doctor, who has delivered the last 3 of my children, asked, "do all your kids pop out so easily?"  He has almost missed a couple of them because they came quickly.  They placed him on me for a few seconds, and then took him to the warmer to do his newborn exam.  Within a couple minutes we heard the words, "He has a cleft", and our world changed instantly.  Zachariah was born with a cleft palate, and Pierre Robin, which means his lower jaw is smaller than his upper jaw. 

This is how he had to be positioned, even on his tummy

 Aynsli was born with the same thing.  We spent 25 days in the NICU with Aynsli because she had some feeding issues, but she didn't have any airway issues, as long as she was positioned on her tummy.  It quickly became evident with Zachariah, that he had some more extensive airway issues, and had trouble breathing, even on his tummy, and that he was going to have to be transported to Primary Childrens Medical Center.  Not what any parent wants to hear, whether you have been through it before or not.  Initially they told us it would be done by ambulance, so we thought we had a little time, but then they decided there was no reason for a 40 minute transport, where someone would have to hold his jaw the whole time, when it could be done in 6 minutes by helicopter.  So just an hour after he was born, we heard the helicopter land. --That sound will forever hold different meaning for us now.--It took them about an hour to get him all set to go, and then they brought him in to us to see for a few minutes before they took off.

This is the first time I really got to see my little boy.

Our first family photo.  Not exactly what we'd planned, but we'll take it.

We got to spend about 10-15 minutes with him before they took him.  I am so grateful that my girls got to see him, even for a few moments, before they took him, because they aren't allowed to go to the NICU due to RSV season.  It is tough for them to have mom  and dad go and they don't get to.

Sweet Zachariah.  He is such a mellow little man.

They had to intubate him to keep his airway open.  He can breathe on his own, but because of the Pierre Robin, he can't keep his tongue forward.  I'll write more about his condition shortly.

I look at this, and think that I should have been much more terrified that my little boy was being transported and there wasn't much I could do.  Grateful for wonderful people who helped us though!

Dad and the girls were able to follow him out to the helicopter pad and watch him leave.  Mom was left in the room alone.  All I got was to hear the sound of the helicopter start, and then take off.  Not exactly an easy thing to hear.

Zachariah's first helicopter ride.

Not the best pictures, but it was dark.   Girls watching their brother leave in the helicopter.

After Zachariah departed, the girls left with Grandma, and for a little while it was just mom and dad.  It was all too quiet and not what we expected or planned on; and really our first chance to process it all. So many things to think about, and so many thoughts go through your head.  As tough as it all was, and still is, our minor saving grace is that we've been here before.  If we hadn't done this with Aynsli, we both would have been a total basket case.  As such, we were tired, worn out, exhausted, worried, emotional, but not frantic.

Sweet baby boy, with intubation tube still in.

My doctor was kind enough to release me the next morning--a mere 16 hours after he was born.  Not exactly my anticipated recovery time (I am still waiting for that : )! ), but I needed to see my little boy.  We got to the hospital about 3pm, and I was finally able to hold my little man.  We met with the geneticist for a good hour, spoke with the nurse practioner, and worked with the nurse.  Being the weekend, nobody else was in, but there was a whole list of scheduled consults: ENT, Opthamology, Orthopedics, PT/OT, Audiology--I think that is all of them.  One big blessing is that most of these doctors are ones that we already take Aynsli to, and so are familiar with them, and have worked closely with them for the last 4.5 years.

Mom holding Zachariah for the first time!

Dad holding Zachariah for the first time.

Zachariah's first bed in the NICU

So, what is going on with our little man?  Here is the scoop.  And I apologize if it is lengthy.  Zachariah was born with Pierre Robin Sequence and Sticklers Syndrome--both things that Aynsli has.  Sticklers is a connective tissue syndrome, and affects eyes, ears, heart, joints, etc...it is genetic, and is a 50/50 dominant trait.  The issues in the family tend to be eye--retinal tears and and detachments, although Aynsli's retinas are healthy.  And Zachariah's are too.  Our little family gene mutation appears to be the cleft palate, and small jaw.  And Zachariah has club feet.  The Pierre Robin causes the small lower jaw, which doesn't grow all the way forward, but the tongue is "normal" size, so doesn't allow the palate to close, resulting in the cleft.   Aynsli's cleft was long and narrow, more V shaped, where Zachariah's is more U or horse shoe shaped.  I believe this is the main reason he is having more airway issues, that Aynsli didn't have. 

Pierre Robin is relatively rare-- 1 in 8500 to 14000 babies are born with it, and yet we have 2 precious little ones who have it.  As difficult as it can be, and as hard as this road is going to be for Zachariah, there are so many worse things.  Right now, our biggest issue is maintaining an airway.  Because his lower jaw is small, his tongue is further back, and makes it much easier for it to fall back and block his airway.  Aynsli did well with just positioning on her tummy, but for Zachariah it is not that simple.  That is why he was initially intubated--so the tube would keep his tongue down, allowing his airway to stay clear.  With time, his jaw will grow, and he will learn to move his tongue, but for right now, he doesn't have those abilities.  So it is day by day, and step by step, and we'll look back one day and see that it passed quickly, but right now, it is tough.  Ups, downs, physical and emotional exhaustion, splitting your time and life between your children, an 80 mile round trip daily, new nurses and doctors every day, and I could go on...

We are so grateful for the prayers that have been offered in our behalf, and the help that has been given.  Know that we appreciate it so much, and couldn't do it without your support.  Thank you.

I will continue to update as I can.  It has already been 10 days, and I certainly didn't cover everything, but wanted to get it down.  Tomorrow we are scheduled for surgery--they are doing a tongue lip adhesion, but that is a post for another day.

Dusting it off...

I have neglected this blog my entire pregnancy.  I looked at it many times, thinking I should post something for there were many times I should, but for various reasons, I did not.  


But now it is time. 


Life has changed dramatically, and although I currently don't have the time I would like to dedicate to it,  I know there are many of you who would like to know what is going on.  So my goal this week is to post at least 3 times.  Post one coming soon...like today.

Flashback Friday...stealing the idea from another blog...

Aynsli's First Easter 2005

I have always loved this picture--she eventually named the baby Julianna

It seems like yesterday she was so little, now she is so grown up!

Can We Breathe Now?

Boy!  Am I glad that is over.   March was one heck of a month around here.   I did post, and I don't want to call it a cheater post, because Grandma Condie was a wonderful part of our life, and we will miss her so much; but we didn't add anything personal.  So, now that we are into recovery mode, and are breathing a little easier, I need to fill you in on March.  For the 2 of you who read this anyway.

For us, March came in and went out like a lion.  There was no lamb about it!

We celebrated Grandma Condie's birthday on the 8th, and had a fun dinner with her and Grandpa.  Little did we know that would be the last time that I, and the girls, would get to talk to Grandma in this life.  How grateful I am that they have been close by for the last year, and that my girls have got to spend some quality time with Grandma and Grandpa Condie.  I just wish I had taken more pictures!

We were supposed to leave for Disneyland on the 12th, but Emalie got sick, and after a trip to the InstaCare, where we were told she had Bronchiolitis, probably caused by RSV, and then a trip to her pediatrician, where, after breathing treatments, Xrays, and a strep test, they didn't find pneumonia or strep, but she had inflamed lungs, and breathing issues.  She they put her on steroids and breathing treatments, and we just held on.  We pushed back our trip a day at a time, hoping she'd get better.  Her fever finally broke, but she was SO whiny and emotional~the doctor said the steroid could do that to her.

We pushed our departure another day, and felt like she was well enough by Sunday afternoon that we left home about 4pm. thinking we'd go to St. George, and if the girls did ok, we'd continue on, if not, we'd come back.  The  minute we get there, Aynsli says her ears hurt, and she is starting to cough.   And Lily had an awful night.  I had said to Chris as we pulled out of the driveway, "Are we stupid for doing this?"  Little did I know!

We got to St. George about 9pm and no sooner had we gotten into our hotel room, then Aynsli said, "Mom, my ears hurt."  Seriously?  What else?  After a not so restful night, we arose and figured we'd better make a plan.  Chris has a cousin who lives in St. George, so we called him, and asked if he would come help give the girls blessings.  Graciously he came, with his wife, and after an hour plus visiting, we packed up and headed to the InstaCare. 

InstaCares are never instant, and after waiting for an hour, and one coughing induced vomiting episode, we finally got back to the exam room.   Aynsli went first--no ear infections, but because of her asthma like history, he put her on an antibiotic, and steriods to help with the coughing fits.  Lily was next, not one, but two ear infections for her.  Antibiotic number two.   I asked the doc if he would just check Emalie's ears,  she'd been to the doctor twice in the last 5 days, but low and behold, an ear infection for her too.  Antiobiotic number 3.  So off we went to Walmart, to fill prescriptions.  You would think that by this point we would have had the sense to turn around and go home.  And we really should have!

But no, after waiting nearly 90 minutes, and $66 dollars later, we medicated our children, and set off on our adventure.  It was 2:15pm Utah time when we left St. George.  We got to our hotel across from Disneyland just before 9pm local time--just in time to see the fireworks.

Tuesday morning we got up and headed out to Disneyland. So did half the nation.  We were unaware that it was the first week of peak season hours, and everyone else had the same plan we did.  We talked to at least 3 different Disney employees who were shocked at how busy they were.  One of them said that they had called in hundreds of employees to help, because they hadn't expected the crowds.  Needless to say, we did a lot of standing in lines, but the girls had a good time, and were very good about all the waiting.  

Aynsli had a blast.  She loved the Matterhorn and Space Mountain, and wanted to go on several other of the rollercoasters.  Unfortunately, our Disney time was cut short when we got a call that Grandma Condie had pneumonia and her lungs were filling with fluid.

Sweet Grandma Condie has been fighting squeamous cell cancer for nearly 3 years.  She had major surgery last May, and we were hoping she was cancer free; but in November, they found it again, and because of its location, (in her mouth) the doctors said that there was nothing else they could do about the cancer.   It was her decision that when the time came, she wanted no life-prolonging measures, so we knew that they wouldn't do anything to fight the pneumonia.  That is why when we got the call, we started our rush trip home:  we didn't know if she had even hours left.   Bless her heart, she hung on until early Sunday morning, March 20th, when she peacefully passed through the veil and into the arms of many loved ones.   Her mother passed away when Grandma was only 11 months old, so I know there was a sweet reunion with her.   I also know that she and my dad have had a chance to talk, and she has given him a hug for me.

We spent all that week with family and funeral preparations.   It was good to be with family, and to celebrate the life of a wonderful and righteous woman who has touched the lives of so many.  However, when it was all said and done, we kind of crashed.  Between sick kids, our trip to Disneyland,  Emalie had a birthday in there somewhere, and Grandma, there hasn't been a lot of breathing time, and I am tired.  And I have umpteen loads of laundry still to be done.

March, I was glad to see you come, but I am glad to see you gone.  Next year can we be a little calmer please?

We will miss you Mom and Grandma Condie

BEULAH CONDIE

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Beulah E. Condie "Forever Together" Beulah Elaine Condie, loving wife, mom and grandmother, passed away March 20, 2011 at her home surrounded by her loving family. She was born March 8, 1940 in Great Falls, Montana, the daughter of Lynn M. and Sadonia Ellen Bright Higbee. On August 28, 1958, Beulah married her sweetheart, Robert Spencer Condie in the Idaho Falls LDS Temple. Beulah adored her husband of 52 years and considered her greatest joy and accomplishment to be her family. She was involved in their activities and honored by their accomplishments. Beulah demonstrated her love for her Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ as an active member of the LDS Church, serving in several callings that included being an ordinance worker in the Denver LDS Temple, and two LDS Missions with her husband. She enjoyed reading, golfing, playing the piano and singing. Survivors: husband, Robert; children, Sheri (Darrell) Ball, Debra (Robert) Stransky, Teresa (Vail) Codling, Barbra (Marc) Kessel, Christopher (Wendi) Condie, Brian (Vanessa) Condie, Roger (Kelly) Condie; 23 grandchildren and four great- grandchildren; sisters and brother, Letha Loveland, Doris Brower, Doug (Joann) Bayly. Preceded in death by her parents; and her parents who raised her, Maitland and Edna Bayly; and her brothers, Marlin, Lynn, and Myron Higbee. Funeral services will be held Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 12 noon in the Cottonwood Heights 1st LDS Ward, 7075 South 2250 East, Cottonwood Heights, Utah. A viewing will be held at the church on Wednesday, March 23, 2011 from 6-8:00 p.m. and again on Thursday from 10: 00-11: 30 a.m. Interment, Mountain View Cemetery, Pocatello, Idaho on Friday, March 25, 2011 at 1:00 p.m. www.goffmortuary.com

February in Review

Technically I am past my deadline--thanks for the reminder Heidi!  : )  BUT, due to the gift of technology, I don't have to be!  : ) I was too tired to do this last night! (Click on the above picture to get a close up view)

February has been another exciting month for us!  We squeeze as much love and celebrating out of it as we can. We celebrate Chris' birthday--he turned OLD this year, Valentine's Day--the girls always love their visit from Mr. Valentine!  He decorates the hallway and their bedroom doors with all kinds of hearts, and leaves them each a little present!  Fun stuff.  Then we celebrate our anniversary, and to top it all off, we celebrate my birthday!  What a month!

This year, Lily had to get in on the action.  We were celebrating Chris' birthday and SuperBowl Sunday all at the same time.  I had great food all planned out for him.  Lily decided that she needed to make another ER visit right during food prep time.  So Chris had to make all his own food.  Sorry babe.  It was yummy though!

Why, you may ask, did Lily end up in the ER twice in two months?  Well, let me share this little gem with you...we were up visiting my mom in the hospital.  She had just had her knee replaced for the second time after this little beauty of an accident... I know, I am sure mom would love it to know I added that picture.  There is actually a better one, where she looks even worse (LOL) but I couldn't find it. So this one had to suffice.  Quickly...last March she tripped over a gas hose and fell flat on her face, and her knees at a gas station.  Dumb doctors didn't do a CAT scan the day of the accident, so about 6 weeks later (after leaking cranial fluid for most of that time) they discovered a crack in the plate between your sinuses and your brain, and she had a piece a brain about the size of a large grape protruding through the hole.  (I saw the actual scans, it was pretty incredible!)  So once she finally got into see the neurosurgeon, they immediately admitted her to the ICU and did surgery the next morning.  This picture is from after the surgery--but is similar to how she looked after the original accident.  Anyway, as a by product of the accident, her newly replaced knee was injured, and one of the bones came loose, and never fixed itself, so she had to have a second new knee put in.

So...back to the original story.   We were at the hospital visiting Grandma after her surgery.   I looked down and saw all these blood drops all over the floor.  At first we couldn't figure out where it was coming from.  Then, Chris picked up Lily, and she had blood running down her hand and shirt and we saw that somehow--we still don't know how, or on what, she had cut the tip of her finger.  It was bleeding pretty badly--we got a bandaid and she soaked through that pretty quickly.  The nurses called the nursing supervisor and he came up and wrapped it with gauze and coban and said that if it didn't stop we needed to come back.  Great!  We kept it wrapped all Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday.  It wasn't until we got home from church on Sunday that it started to bleed again--dripping down her arm bleeding again.  So I called the hospital and talked to the nursing supervisor on duty, and she strongly suggested we bring her to the ER.  So, off to the ER she and I went---leaving dad home to make his own party.

After a total visit of 1 hour and 15 minutes, 15 minutes of the nurse scrubbing, cleaning and bandaging it, and MAYBE 2 minutes with the ER doc, we had a well wrapped finger that was no longer bleeding.  The nurse said that if we had come in Friday they probably would have stitched it.   I am kind of glad we didn't--that would have been torture for me and for Lily!  And it has pretty much completely healed--she didn't lose any skin or anything.

So we have spent several times visiting Grandma in rehab this month...she looks much better in this picture, and hopefully will be able to come home by the end of the week!

It flew by, and was cram packed with all kinds of fun and excitement--including 4 earthquakes, but we are glad it is done, and are looking forward to more fun and excitement next month!

January--off to a good start!

One of my New Years resolutions/goals, which I still haven't gotten around to putting on paper, is to do better at keeping up to date on our blog.  Sometimes that seems  a monumental task in and of itself, and is rarely at the top of my list.   It is always on the list, but seriously, who completes their list every day? 

I figure if I post even once a month, that is better than  what I have been doing, right?

So we've nearly completed the first month of 2011, and if I don't get something posted soon, it is highly unlikely I will.  The next couple months are looking pretty busy--when aren't they?--and organizing my life is an ongoing practice....so here goes.

We started 2011 with a trip to Primary Childrens Medical Center Emergency Room.

My 2 littlest darling daughters went from this:

It was a lovely Saturday morning, and my sweet girls are great helpers.  They love to help unload the dishwasher, and did a great job of it.  We finished unloading, and Emalie went off to play, and Lily stuck around to help me load.  I had just gotten her off the door, and turned to the sink to get a dish to put in the dishwasher, when she starts to scream...

To this:

Because it was "unwitnessed", as the ER put it, I don't know exactly what happened.  This, I do know.  She pulled the bottom rack, and she was sitting on the floor.  At first I couldn't see anything wrong with her, but about 20 seconds later, the first little bits of blood appeared.  She must have pulled the rack with enough force, that the prongs came up and hit her right under her eyes.  Thankfully, it didn't get her in the eye.

I called the doctor's office, who was amazingly still there; but my nurse said she had to go to the ER--because she is so little, if they had to do stitches, they could do conscious sedation on her.  Great, just what we needed!  So off to the ER we went.  Thankfully, it was a quiet morning there--it still took nearly 2 hours--I can't imagine what it would have bee like if they were busy.  After 3 doctors looking at her, they decided to clean her eyes to see if she needed stitches.  It took 2 doctors, one nurse, and a paramedic to hold her down, and even then her leg got loose and she kicked one of them.  Yes, that's my Lily!

Once they got them cleaned up, they decided that there was no need for stitches.  Hooray for small miracles!

They put drops in her eyes and looked at them to make sure she hadn't scratched her cornea or done any damage there, which she had not, and then sent us on our way.  She looked pretty beat up for a few days, but after a week, you could hardly even tell.  Now we are just hoping that she won't have any scarring.

Lily has been informed that she has had her medical emergency for the year, and she is no longer allowed to do things requiring an ER visit.  Somehow, I am afraid, she of the 3, will be the one that does not listen!  : )

Thank you, I appreciate you

In lieu of my last post, I think this is appropriate.  I have had a few thoughtful moments in the last hours, and I think I want to share.  We had the adult session of Stake Conference tonight, and it was very good.  There were a few things directed right towards me.  The Stake President, as well as another, talked about the importance of the relationship with your spouse.  And how it is so important to be kind to each other.   If we would consider our spouse first, in every decision we make, would that change the way that we do things?  I know for me, there are times it would.  And that is something I need to work on.  Eternity is a long time, and I intend to be happy throughout it!  : )

This month celebrates the 15 year commemoration of the The Family: A Proclamation to the World, given by the First Presidency.  I was sitting in a meetinghouse, in the middle of Wyoming, on my mission, when this incredible Proclamation was first introduced.   There are a couple blogs that I stalk that are focusing their posts all month long on the Family, and the Proclamation.  I was really touched by THIS post.  It really made me think.  About my own father, and my husband, the father of my littles.

My father was ill my entire life.  He got sick on his mission, and continued to suffer throughout his life.  His illness was debilitating enough that he was never able to hold a job outside our home.  He often spent entire days in bed, and was consistently in pain.  But I never heard him complain about  it.  And only now am I beginning to realize the things he was able to do that mean so much.

My mom was always the one who brought in and put up the Christmas tree.  My dad was usually too sick to do it.  But my dad was the tooth fairy, and always left a note with whatever the tooth fairy brought.  My dad could never afford much, but he'd send a note or a card, or often be the one to write on the package.  How I treasure cards and letters I find that my dad wrote--I miss his handwriting.

Both of my parents sacrificed, as most good parents do.  But as the blog post says, often times we don't recognize or realize the depth of some of our father's sacrifices.  I don't know if I will ever fully know the depth of my own dad's sacrifices, but how grateful I am that he was willing to make them.

And my dear sweet husband is the same way.  I do not acknowledge enough the depth of his sacrifices for our family.  He shoulders a heavy burden, and I am so grateful for what he does.  I need to TELL him more often of my appreciation for that, and show him my support.  Sometimes I think we get too caught up in the "competition" of 'everything I do around here', and forget to be as kind as we should.  I know I do sometimes.  This sentence from the post really hit  me:

The contributions of father and mother compliment and cooperate, they don’t compete.

When I read that, I felt like I had been stuck with a fork!  How true that should be, and how much I have forgotten that!

My goal is to work on being better at cooperating and complimenting, not competing.  I am going to try harder to do that.  I do have you know, the greatest reasons in the world for it, and I am so glad they are mine!   I am so blessed and my actions are going to better reflect that from now on.

My Knight in Shining Armor

It has come to my attention, that in all my blog updating,  I neglectfully forgot to update on one person. 

That being my knight in shining armor, my one and only, my king, my protector, my love, my laugh, my hope and dream, my beau, my beloved, my adoration, my sweetheart, my devoted, the one that I live, laugh, love and cry with, the patriarch of our home and family, the bread winner, the steady hand, the strong arm, the football fanatic, the fast car craver, the Dr. Pepper King.

How could I have forgotten the one who brings so much laughter and joy, and mirth, and sometimes trouble to our lives?

The one who plays hard, and works hard, and is always willing to help out.  The one who brings light and sunshine to our lives?

The funny one, the playful one, the adventurer and instigator?

The one I won?

The husband, the father, the apple of our eye.  The priesthood holder, the presider, the papa?

The one who loves us most, and does all that he can for us?  How could we forget him?

Christopher, Chris, my love, yes dear, Dad, Daddy, Papa, by whatever name, we love you, and could never forget you!  

Thanks for all you do for our family!

You are the best!

Aynsli

This is what Aynsli looked like when we brought her home from the hospital, at 25 days old.

This is Aynsli on her first day of Kindergarten.  How did she grow up so fast?  My little girl is now a "school girl".  And somewhere in between, I have become a "seasoned" mother of three.

Aynsli was so excited to get on the bus.  She has vacillated back and forth between being excited for school, and not wanting to go, but in the end she couldn't wait.  She was up early, and even let me put curlers in her hair the night before.  Her teacher, Mrs. Christensen, is brand new, so it should be an exciting adventure for both of them!

For months Aynsli bugged me to get curlers.  We finally got some, courtesy of Grandma, and tried them out.  The first time we did them, they turned out great, and she looked so cute.  Just don't tell her that.  She thought it was awful and so embarrassing.  I had to really convince her to let me do them again.  And then they didn't turn out so hot--not sure why--but we pulled it up, and she looked so cute, and so grown  up.  Which she is, all to quickly.  Aynsli speaks her mind, and isn't afraid to do so, whether she knows you or not.  We are working on it!

She is so fun loving and creative, and a good big sister.  I don't know what I would do without her, and even though it has only been 2 days, I have missed having her around a little bit.

Aynsli LOVES horses, and is in heaven whenever she gets to ride them.  There is a pony ride not far from here, and she would go every day if she could.

My Aynsli is growing up.  She is so helpful and loving to her sisters.  I love her so much, and am so glad to have her in our family!